While I was driving to our last recording session, I was listening to my 60s playlist and trying to come up with some songs that would be good for a future music-centric podcast episode. It suddenly hit me that with perhaps a handful of exceptions, all 252 songs on that playlist - all 12 hours and 20 minutes of it - are songs that both Tristan and I know from memory. The Beatles, The Turtles, Mel & Tim, The Supremes, Sam Cooke; all the hit makers and the one-hit wonders too. It's not that we just know these songs, we know them well enough to sing harmonies together. In my mind, that's an extraordinarily rare thing for two male friends to do together when they're driving in a car. Toxic masculinity dictates not only that men shouldn't sing, but that men shouldn't sing together, and even IF two men were to sing together, it should never be in harmony. But we did it all the time. On road trips back home from college, singing the songs from Fallout 3 together was how we passed the time, and it was great! What's weird is that I don't sing like that in the car with anybody else, not even with my wife. That's weird, right? I have no idea where other people are on this, who sings with whom in the car, but I certainly am wondering. Maybe I'm the weird one, and everybody out there is just singing with everybody else, like on Carpool Karaoke. And speaking of that...
Is it just me, or is Carpool Karaoke the single worst talk show idea ever? This is an unbelievably late rant, I know, but the point still stands. This is SO late that I actually had to check and see if the show is still on, and it is, so we're full go. Directly relating to my first point, Carpool Karaoke is a miserably inaccurate portrayal of singing in the car. I'll bet that even if I did own a Land Rover, my celebrity friends would not sing in the car with me. And it's enough with James Corden. Send him back to London, and send his thin concept with him.
A fundamental problem with every list of "Best Driving Songs" is that they all include songs that are objectively terrible. For example, Bat Out Of Hell. That song is awful. There's no excuse for it. It's about dying in a car crash, number one, number two Meatloaf never even rode a cool motorcycle, and number 3 the song has aged exactly as well as bananas on Mercury. Plus, every single person who ever liked that song is dead now, so lets just agree to get rid of it, okay? I'm pretty sure that Meatloaf is dead at this point, too. I think he died on stage while trying to sing the national anthem, I saw it on YouTube. That means we are free to Atari his whole catalogue and the world will be just a tiny bit less miserable than it was before. Let's finally update the list of commonly-accepted good driving songs by burying some of the old ones.
Most driving playlists don't include many songs from after like 1996, if they include any at all. It's like whoever is making these lists, whoever the arbiters of car culture are, they just stopped listening to music when hip-hop became the primary cultural influence in America. Of course, we already know who these people are, and we already know that's exactly what they did. But fuck them, there is some stunningly good driving music that was made after my 8th birthday, gobs and gobs of it, and it needs to be brought to the forefront. Who even WANTS to hear Panama again, I mean besides Nick? I guess my point is that I'm just bored. I'm bored of the same songs, and I want to hear something new.